Troubled heart

“Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say?..."

John 12:27

       As the seasons pass from summer into fall, the days are getting shorter and cooler. I have spent the last 5 months recovering from a circumstance I did not expect.  One in which I was profoundly hurt and troubled by as there seemed to not be a suitable answer as to why.  But now, five months later, I have decided it is time to leave it behind and move forward.  God has brought me to this place and I rest my troubled soul in Him.  He has sustained me when I have been so low I was not sure I could find my way.  He has walked beside me in this time as no one else could.  Psalm 25:1 tells me "to thee, O Lord, I lift up my soul, O my God, in thee I trust, let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me".  So I stand firmly beside Him trusting He will lead me to the next season. 

        I have no idea what the next season will bring.  I trust the Lord to show me where He wants me to go this time.  I believe that He wants me to be securely ensconced in Him before I begin anew.  It is time to rest in Him until He chooses to reveal to me what is next.  For someone who has worked 50 plus hours a week for over 20 years, it is hard to sit back and rest.  I feel that I should be doing something.  I feel that I need to take matters into my own hands because that's what the world expects me to do.  But, I know that I need this time to heal and rest in Him.  It is ok to rest in Him.  It is ok to sit back and regroup from all the missed days of my life.  I didn't realize how much I missed while I was working.  I didn't see or have time to enjoy the beauty of the sunrise.  Now I can and do.  I didn't have time to visit with my parents and now that they are older I have time.   I didn't get to see my grandchildren participate in school projects because I was at work.  Now I can.  So if this forced time away from working is for those things then I can call myself blessed.  My attitude has changed from one of bitterness and hurt to gratitude.  Gratitude that I can spend time with my family and not have to do work.  Gratitude that I can read a book and not feel that I should be grading papers.  Gratitude that I can spend time with the Lord as I walk in the morning and not be rushing out the door and up the road to a job.  There are days when it is easy and there are days when it is hard.  But the hard days are fewer.  I want to be able to know in my soul that I have "walked in my integrity, and I have trusted in the Lord without wavering." (Ps. 26:1) . I can rest that "it is well with my soul".

"He refreshes my soul. He guides me along

 the right paths for his name’s sake."

Psalm 23:3

Glorious Days

"For a day in Thy courts is better than a thousand outside"

Psalm 84:10

     Summer continues to linger here in Ohio.  As October begins, the heat continues into record-breaking, historical, hasn't happened ever days.  The sky is blue, there is no humidity but it is hot and dry.  As the sun rises this day, you can feel the heat it promises.  The grass is brown.  The trees are dropping leaves without the beautiful colors and everything just looks tired and thirsty.  But in this one can still see "how lovely are Thy dwelling places" (Ps 84:1).    The blue of the sky is brilliant.  The trees that have begun to change colors stand out against it, shouting out "how lovely are Thy dwelling places".  

     In this place, my soul has felt like the crackling of the brown grass and the parched soil longing for a drink. I long for a cool breeze to sweep over me and bring comfort.  I long for a gentle rain to soothe my parched soul.  The Lord comes as that cool breeze when my soul is parched and unyielding.  His touch brings comfort and peace.  He is that gentle rain that waters the dry places in me and brings blessings springing forth, renewed.  

     This summer has been long.  As the summer progressed from the spring rains and the land was green and renewed after the long winter, it became parched, dusty, and hard.  My life at the same time was the same.  In the spring I had a job I loved and was looking forward to it again in the fall but then I was let go.  The summer stretched on parched with no prospects and I thought no direction. As the summer dragged on and got drier, my savings dwindled.  I felt just like the brown grass, dry and brittle, yearning for a drink to soothe.  

     The forecast is calling for relief.  Today it is 92 tomorrow in the 70s.  Relief comes at last from the heat with rain sure to follow to bring relief to those parched grasses and trees.  God is my relief for my soul and all I need to do is pray.  The Psalms bring healing rain to the soul.  The words like gentle drops soothing to read and hear and bringing relief to a dry soul.   Psalm 84 speaks..."O Lord God of host, hear my prayer; Give ear, O God of Jacob! Behold our shield, O God, And look upon the face of Thine Anointed.  For a day in Thy courts is better than a thousand elsewhere".  

      I look forward to renewed hope.  As the hot, dry weather of the summer gives way to the cooler breezes of fall, so may my life begin to feel a change too.  My soul begins to drink in God's gentle whispers that things are going to get better.  God whispers that He is in control of the weather and my life. God whispers He is leading me beside still waters and restoring my soul (Ps 23:2-3).   I can rest in knowing He is near.

"O God, restore us, and cause Thy face to shine upon us, and we will be saved." 

Ps. 80:3

Contentment

"Not that I speak from want, 

for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am."

Philippians 4:11

     Contentment.  It has different meanings for different people.  What does it mean to be content?  Does it mean you have a comfortable lifestyle?  Does it mean you are happy with your family?  Does it mean you are satisfied?  What does it mean to be content?   Webster's Dictionary gives the meaning of content as "feeling or showing satisfaction with one's possessions, status or situation". So I ask the question again, are you content?  

      As I pondered over this question for myself, I struggled with it.  I struggled because I know I need to be content with the circumstances I find myself in at this time of my life.  There are many that would probably wish to be in the shoes I am in as their circumstances may be worse.  But for me, these circumstances are ones I have not had for many years.  For those many years, we have lived a comfortable lifestyle. Not extravagant but comfortable. One or both of us have had a full-time job. If we needed or wanted something we could buy it.  If we wanted to go on a trip we could. If we wanted to spoil the grandkids we did.  But for now, all of those are on hold. Neither of us has a full-time job.  We have what we need nothing more.  We know God provides and He shows up right on time.  He will continue too until the season changes and He shows us the next steps to take.

       At the beginning of the summer, I started this blog. I was broken like I had never been.  I still struggle with that brokenness at times but I am coming through it.  I may never understand why I am at this place at this time but I do know that God has not left me in it all.  I know He has been there helping me through. I am content in my circumstances.  I am content when I realize I don't need more stuff.  I am content when I know I can enjoy a good book or time alone with God.  I am content when I know I have the time now to spend in His Word. I am thankful for this time and for my family.  Whatever the circumstance as Paul states, I am content.  Ask yourself the same, am I content in ALL circumstances, not just the happy, comfortable ones?  Be content in all circumstances and enjoy what God shows you in your life.

...being content with what you have; 

for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,”

Hebrews 13:5

Stand Firm

"Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men,

be strong."

1 Corinthians 16:13

     

      The last days are here.  They have been here but we are in the last of the last days, I believe.  The Lord Jesus Christ will soon return.  Are you ready?  One reads the daily headlines and there is nothing but misery, hate, and dissension.  It is rare to see an uplifting story in the news these days.  It is easy to get bogged down by the negativity that is permeating our society in this present age.  People deny there is a God.  People shake their fists in the face of God and scream obscenities.  People show vitriol for anyone with a differing opinion on anything.  Common decency is gone.  Common sense went with it.  Even some Christians compromise their beliefs when pushed against a wall. Satan is running amok in our world and having the time of his life. 

       BUT...we as Christians must be watchful.  We must stand firm in the faith.  We must be strong.   Moses told the people of Israel in Exodus 14:13, " Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will work for you today.".  Moses is talking about the Egyptians who were in hot pursuit and the Israelites are standing at the bank of the Red Sea grumbling, again, about why they left Egypt in the first place.  Moses is standing in front of them and is saying, FEAR NOT, haven't you already seen the hand of God at work in saving you from Egypt.  Haven't you seen that God is working to get you out of here and to the Promised Land?  Stop standing around grumbling and stand firm!  Stand knowing that He is going to save you.  Stand firm knowing He is going to see everything going on in your life.  Stand firm knowing He will answer when you call. Stand firm knowing He has your back.  Stand firm in the faith. 

       We are called to stand firm.  We are called to be sober-minded; Be watchful.  Because our adversary, the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:12) We need to always be alert.  Jesus told his disciples in the garden to keep watch while He went to pray.  He told them to be alert.  But they did as we do, we get comfortable.  We fall asleep.  We become lazy and we are not alert.  It is when we are not alert or watchful that we stumble and fall into the traps the devil has set for us.  He wants us to be lazy.  He doesn't want us to be strong and standing firm. The devil knows that if we are strong and firm in our faith, he can not get to us as easily.   This is why standing firm is mentioned many times in the Bible.  

        Friends, stand firm in your faith.  Know that the Lord is with you and fear not.  Be watchful for the adversary who wants to devour anyone that is not alert to his tactics.  Be strong.  There is nothing that is impossible with God.  God is able and He will be there.  He has already won.  So have we, if we are watchful, standing firm and strong in our faith.

"stand firm in it."

1 Peter 5:12

Ask! O Mighty Man (Woman) of Valor

"The Lord is with you O mighty man of valor"

Judges 6:12

    As I read through Judges chapter 6,  the people of Israel were doing what the people of Israel were good at doing, not obeying God's voice.  He had shown Himself to them more times than they could possibly count but yet they still did not believe Him.  We are like that too.  God has revealed Himself to us on many occasions but we choose to forget or not to see at all.  As I look back over my life, God was there in all of it.  We made unwise choices a few times, but God worked them for good.  Now as we are faced with yet another mountain to climb, we want to languish in our fears of climbing that mountain and the "what ifs" that present themselves in our minds.  We are not "obeying His voice".        Gideon was the same way, God was calling to him and calling Gideon a "mighty man of valor" but Gideon's response was "who me?".  Just as we say the same.  Gideon questioned God as to why all these things were happening to them. Again, we do the same.  God told Gideon to go and save Israel from the land of the Midian.  Gideon pleads why me, why my tribe, we are weakest of all the tribes.  Excuses and more excuses as to why we can't do it His way.  But the Lord speaks again and tells Gideon "I will be with you, and you will strike the Midianites as one man."(Judges 6:16).  But Gideon, being the weak flesh that we all are, says show me a sign that it is really you, God, that is speaking to me.  

     Oh, how I want a sign!  Maybe even a big whack up the side of my head!  But you know what happened to Gideon,  God did just what Gideon wanted, not once but three times.  He gave Gideon the signs he asked for specifically.  God is just waiting for us to ask Him.  I am not one to ask for something.  I hate asking for help.  I hate asking for something I need or even something I want.  Why?  Because I don't think anyone will listen or help and it's easier to do it myself, or so I think.   God listens.  God helps.  God will give us what we ask as long as it is for our good.  James 4:2 says, "you do not have, because you do not ask.". So for us to have what we ask we need to only ask,  but the next verse reminds us "you ask and do not receive because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.".  We are to be bold and ask God for whatever we need specifically.   John 14:13 tells us, " whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.".  But we are to ask with the right motives, to glorify God when He answers, then He will answer and give us what we ask.   So as we stand at the base of what seems an immovable mountain, we need only ask God specifically to help.  He will listen and He will help.  We need only to believe that He is able.

"If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it."

John 14:14

Open Doors

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek,

 and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you."

Matthew 7:7

      Doors.  Everywhere we go there are doors.  Some push inward, some you have to pull to open. Some say do not enter, others are standing open wide for all to enter without hindrance. Some doors swing freely between rooms with no locks to keep them closed.  Other doors are secured with multiple locks and bars to keep everyone away.  When we approach a door we do not always know if it will give us entrance or remain closed to us.  Much like the doors of our lives that we approach on our road to following God.  We ask is this door going to open to use?  Or will it remain closed, locked tight?  

     There have been many times in my life that I have had to approach a door.  Uncertainty my companion as to whether I can open this door and walk freely through it or will it slam shut in my face just as I step forward or will it close tightly after I have walked in, giving me no chance to change my mind and turn back.   

      The walk with God is full of doors.  Each door leading somewhere.  Some doors leading to happiness and tranquility, at least for the moment.  Other doors leading to anguish and discouragement which again is only for a moment.  A moment in God's eyes, not a moment to ours.  Even in times of discouragement and disappointment, God has been at the door.  Matthew 24:33 says so, "even so you too, when you see all these things, recognize that He is near, right at the door.".  God is always near the door, no matter which one we approach and walk into.  We should approach each door in our lives with the confidence that no matter which we choose God is near.  God is there to lead us through the open door He wants for us to take.  He is there to bar the door if it is one that will lead us to destruction.  And if we barge on through the door that is closed, He is there too, waiting with open arms to remind us that He will not leave us. So as we navigate this life full of doors that are both opened and closed, remember that God is near the door.  All we need to do is ask, seek and knock and it will be opened to you. 

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock; 

if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me."

Revelation 3:20

PEACE

"You keep him in perfect peace

whose mind is stayed on you,

because he trusts in you."

Isaiah 26:3

     Peace!  Peace be with you.  Peace, Man!  Let there be peace on earth.  Peace and quiet.  The word peace is used in so many ways.  The definition of peace is "quiet, calm, absence of hostility".  As I laid wide awake in the middle of the night, I was thinking about peace.  Mainly so I could drift back to sleep but sleep wasn't coming.  My mind has been rolling in turmoil for several weeks now and all I want is peace.  I don't want to think about a job.  I don't want to think about money or the lack of it.  What I want is peace, the quiet calm peace.  How do I get that peace?  How do I turn off my brain to the turmoil that keeps swirling around me? 

    I turned to the One that holds that peace.  Paul spoke of peace in Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.".  The peace of God which surpasses ALL understanding.  We can not begin to know the peace of God in a way our human minds can wrap around.  His peace surpasses all understanding, He guards our hearts and our minds in Jesus with His peace.  I know that when I feel His peace, it is calming and quiet. The turmoil eases away and is replaced with a calm and quiet that only God can provide.  If we set our minds on things above and not on the things which are here on earth, we can feel the peace of God seeping into our souls.  Just like on a cold winter day as we sip a warm cup of tea and the warmth spreads through our bodies, God does the same with His peace, warming our souls that are cold and anxious.  He brings an end to the turmoil of our brains and reaches in and soothes with His peace. 

    People are crying out for peace.  They are crying for wars to end and the discord to stop.  People want peace but have not looked to the One who gives that peace.  We, as Christians, need to remind people who will provide the peace that calms and quiets our hearts and minds when they are in turmoil.  We need to look to the One whose very name is "the prince of peace".  He will fill us and provide for us in a way no one else can.  Call upon His name, Emanuel, the prince of peace when you are in turmoil and do not feel peace.  He will fill you with His peace, calmly and quietly it will fill your soul.   

"Peace I leave with you;  my peace I give to you...Let not

your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."

John 14:27

STOP WAIT GO

"Let us therefore, as many as are perfect, have

this attitude; and if in anything you have a different 

attitude, God will reveal that also to you:"

Philippians 3:15

     I wrote the other day about having the endurance to run the race.  I have the endurance to run the race for eternal life but I am struggling with the race of this life.  We live in this life.  We have all those day to day things we have to do.  Laundry, cleaning the house, running errands, paying bills and on and on it goes.  But when our life abruptly changes, shifting gears can be hard.  In our early married life, I was a stay at home wife and then mom.  I loved those days although I was bored sometimes especially once the kids were in school all day.  So in that time, I decided to finish the degree I had started before marriage and I bravely set out to do that.  When I finished, I got a job teaching.  That life consumed my time for the next 21 years.  My husband said to me the other night, "I'm glad I have you back after sharing you with 24 kids every year.".  

     I retired from the public school merry go round and then ventured into the Christian school realm.  What a difference that was from the public school experience.  I loved every minute of it, all year, until that last day when I was called in and told I was no longer wanted.  Ouch!  I had never heard those words before.  I was shocked and hurt beyond words.  I walked from the office stunned and in shock.  I managed to get myself home despite the tears flowing down my face.  That abrupt change I mentioned, here it was, ugly and unanticipated.  I knew when I left public school education I was doing what God had asked me to do.  I knew without a doubt He led me to the Christian school.  Then it was over.   I am unemployed, fired for the lack of a kinder word. What do I do now?

     Then it occurred to me that it isn't what am I going to do now.  It is what is God going to do now?  As I work through the hurt and pain of being rejected, I know that God has this in His hand.  I know that like Philippians 2:13 says, "It is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.".  As I have been rereading Priscilla Shirer's book Discerning the Voice of God,  she says that "Desiring and doing His will is not your responsibility to discover; it is His responsibility to reveal.".  So it is up to God to show me my next steps, if any, right now.  In her book, she talks about the stoplight and how those red, yellow, green colors are a way to remember what God is doing in our life.  "The red light of conviction is a His way of saying STOP!  The yellow light of dis-ease means WAIT! and the green light of ease and peace is His way of saying GO!".  I am in at the yellow going to red light.  I do not have the ease and peace of the green light but the dis-ease of yellow and the conviction to just stop and listen.  Matthew 17:5 says, "this is my beloved son...LISTEN to Him!", it doesn't say serve him or talk to him it says LISTEN!  So as I am in this forced abrupt state of uncertainty.  I am certain that God is in control. I am certain He has me where he wants me.  He wants me to rest.  He wants me to wait. He wants me to listen.   If I were merrily going along content and happy with the state of things, I would not be reliant upon God as I should be. I think that is one reason why I am here, to stop, wait and then go when He says to do it.

"Every good thing bestowed and every perfect gift

is from above, coming down from the Father of lights,

with whom there is no variation, or shifting shadow."

James 1:17

   

Running the Race

"... and let us run with endurance the race

that is set before us,"

Hebrews 12:1

    

     As I read this verse this morning,  it occurred to me that we are running a race.  Just to think of the word race brings the feeling of being rushed.   Rushing to get to work, rushing to get to school, rushing to get this or that finished, hurry, hurry, hurry, all the while we are in that race.  Are we racing to get to God?  Are we racing to get to eternity?  What are we racing to or for?  Is our race for more success or money?  Is our race to be better at something than our coworker or neighbor?  Is our race against time?  What are you running the race to do or see or be?   

      There is more to this verse but this part of the verse is the most important to me.  I am in the race set before me...

   Looking to Jesus for guidance-

   Looking to Jesus for security-

   Looking to Jesus for peace-

   Looking to Jesus for grace-

   Looking to Jesus for help-

   Looking to Jesus for promise-

   Looking to Jesus for direction-

Things in the world have changed mightily in my lifetime.  The world is seeing the beginnings of those labor pains that are ushering in the coming of our King, Jesus.  The things that are happening are swiftly calling to our Lord to come to this earth.  Looking to Jesus to return should also be on my list.  Looking for Him to come and fix this messed up world. He is calling to the people.  He is showing signs of His return.  The earthquakes, the crazy weather, wars, and rumors of wars are telling the people to run the race.  But many of the people wander aimlessly looking for the things that will satisfy the running of their race. Their races of success or of something else.  They are not looking to Jesus.  Let us run the race with endurance, not out of breath and rushed.  Let our race be steady and sure.  Let our race be away from sin and into the mighty arms of our Lord.  He sets the race before us.  Let us make sure that we run the race as He would want us too.   "Do you know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it." (1 Corinthians 9:24)  Run the race to obtain the prize of salvation and eternal life.  Run like your life depends on it.   He is all we need.

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race,

I have kept the faith."

2 Timothy 4:7

Love

"So now faith, hope, and love abide,

these three; but the greatest of these is love."

1 Corinthians 13:13

     This week we celebrated 39 years of marriage. Wow!  Some days it seems that long, but other days it seems only yesterday we were that young, excited couple starting our life together. As a young couple, and by today's standards 20 and 24 is young, we were excited to be moving to another state 500 miles from our hometown to begin a new job and our new life.  It never occurred to us that we should be scared.  We had each other and we had God to lead the way.  It was an adventure.  We didn't have a lot of money but we didn't care.  We put away what we needed to pay the bills and the rest was for groceries and gas.  There wasn't any extra.  So for us to have recreational entertainment, it was long walks, drives in the country, visiting historical sights around the area, and board games.  There was no internet or smartphones to distract us.  There wasn't much on TV even with a limited cable.  Looking back, I wish it was still that way.  The distractions of life that get in the way of living.

     Those distractions take us from the loving God that is there for us.  I John 4 tells us that God is love. The word love is mentioned in the Bible many times and depending on the version which you are reading.  The Kings James Bible mentions love 310 times, in the New American Standard Bible, it's mentioned 348 times. In the New International Version, love is mentioned 551 times.  We use the word love a lot too.  We love this pizza, we love that TV show, we love our families and friends.  

      The word love is tossed around and used flippantly without people realizing the depths of the word.  "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends...". (I Corthinians 13: 4-8)  Love is the greatest of all things.  

       The love of God is so great that it is unfathomable to us mere humans. I John 4:10 states, "in this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.".  He gave us His only Son to die for us.  To take the sins of every man and woman and crush them forever.  We owe God everything but we give Him very little.  We give him Sunday mornings and some don't even give Him that day.   We don't spend the time with Him that He deserves for what He has done for us.  We spend our days looking at our smartphones and cruising the internet mindlessly even though we know there is nothing new or different there than the five minutes before when we looked.  We should be spending that time in prayer and reading of the Word so that we know the love of God.  So we know that God is there for us when things get tough.  So we know that when we do not have much we still have everything we need.  God is love and all we need to do is reach out to Him and give Him the time He deserves.   Will you do that?  

"We love because He first loved us."

I John 4:19

Be Still

"Be still and know that I am God,

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth!"

Psalm 46:10

    These weeks I have not been at rest.  I have been restless. I have been distracted.  Striving to do things on my own when I should just rest.  Rest in the Lord.  It has occurred to me this week that perhaps this season is for resting.  It is for restoring my relationship with the Lord.  It isn't about thinking about the next job, or where the money is going to come from to pay the bills this month. It isn't about lingering my thoughts on the hurt I incurred.  It isn't about the anger of the rejection.  It is summer, normally as a teacher, a time to regroup.  A time to rest.  Instead, I've spent the last several weeks in turmoil.  My thoughts tumbling around the whys and why nots which I can not answer.  The Lord knows the answers.  He knows the whys and I do not need to know.  He is working it out for good (Romans 8:28).  

     Matthew 11:28 tells us "come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.". Jesus came down to restore us to the One who made us.  He came offering us rest for the soul.  All we need to do is accept it.  Am I accepting it now?   We haven't been to church in a while. No real reason just haven't gone. But this week we decided to go and we are so glad we did.  The pastor was talking about this, the need to rest, to pause in our daily craziness and seek the Lord.  His illustration was a yoke, a 150-year-old wooden yoke.  It was pretty cool looking, but when he held it up I noticed something I'd never noticed on a yoke before.  One side was larger than the other.  The pastor proceeded to tell how an older more experienced ox would occupy the larger side, while a smaller, less experienced ox would be on the smaller side.  In Matthew 11: 29-30,  Jesus tells us to "take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.". Next to this verse in my Bible, I drew a yoke to remind me that I am the smaller, less experienced one.  Jesus is the stronger one and He leads me.  His leadership is gentle.  He knows my story. He knows yours. He will press us but He will not crush us.  He will ask us to trust Him.   Let Him take the burden.  He tells us to "be still" (Ps. 46:10).  Stop striving to be and know that He is God.  Let Him give us rest for our weary souls.  Let Him give us rest for the frenzy of our lives.  Pause.  Rest.  Bask in His peace.  Know that He is God.

"For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:30

Change

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, 

coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is 

no variation or shadow due to change."

James 1:17

     Change, I hate it.  Never been a fan. Never want it to happen.  Change happens whether we like it or not. There have been so many changes over my lifetime starting at age 20.  Prior to that, things didn't change.  We lived in the same house, went to the same school, saw the same people.  But at age 20 things changed.  I got married.  I moved to another state 500 miles away.  I wasn't taking college classes anymore.  I was in a strange place where I knew no one. Eight moves in twelve years, 2 kids, taking classes again, getting a full-time job, things changing constantly and quickly.  Now, 39 years later, things are still changing.  The kids are grown, there are three grandchildren, husband's semi-retired, I am retired, between jobs maybe, and struggling with the change.  But through it all, one thing has never changed.  Jesus has been there.

      Jesus never changes.  Malachi 3:6 states that succinctly,  "For I the Lord do not change.".  There is nothing wishy-washy in that statement.   Plain and simply put, the Lord doesn't change.  We change all the time.  We change our clothes, our hairstyles, our homes, our furniture, our jobs, something is always changing with us.  But we can count on the Lord to never change.  He is still all knowing, all powerful, loving, compassionate, and merciful.  No matter our circumstances or our sin, He is still there and is still God.  He is still watching over us as He always has.  

      What has changed?  I have.  My heart has changed over the years to desire to be closer to the will of God.  I want to walk where He leads.  I want to see what He wants me to see.  As the changes of the seasons, so am I in change.  I am going from a job I loved to an unknown course.  I am trusting in the Lord to guide me through this change.  Although I hate change, I am trusting the One who knows the way through the brambles of this path.  I can't see the way.  I can't get past today. My eyes are clouded by the tears of uncertainty and sorrow. But, I am thankful that God is leading and paving the way through this change.  He knows my heart.  He knows my desire even when I am no longer sure.  Change is good.  Change helps us to grow. Change leads us into the arms of Jesus.  As we go through this life of change, we can rest assured that God is in control of it all.  His ultimate outcome is for all to know Him.  Keep praying through the change.  Keep firm in knowing that God has it all in His hands.

 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, and today and forever."

Hebrews 13:8

The Lord is my Shepherd

"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want,

He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me 

beside still waters, He restores my soul."

Psalm 23: 1-2

     The 23rd Psalm has been in my heart since I was 9 years old.  It was September of my third-grade year.  I had to memorize Psalm 23 to get my RSV Bible in Sunday school.  My first Bible, though not my last, is still going strong.  Although I use a different one these days, that little Bible still represents a time of my first faith lessons.   I carried that little Bible obediently to every Sunday school class.  Its pages are wrinkled and tattered.  The binding is cracked.  As I picked it up to write this devotion, the silk ribbon bookmark was in place, Psalm 23.   In my 9-year-old handwriting, the words are carefully underlined, no highlighters back then.  As I read the words, peace flows over me.

    The Lord is my shepherd.  In my recent study of Ezekiel, chapter 34 talks about the shepherds of Israel not watching over the flock.  God is telling Ezekiel to prophesy against the shepherds because they had not taken care of the flock.  They had not fed them, or taken care of the weak and sick ones. They had let the lost wander with no effort to retrieve them back to the flock.  The sheep were scattered over the face of the earth.  The shepherds allowed the sheep to become prey and food for all the wild beasts.  But God says He, Himself, will search for His sheep and rescue them and return them to the fold from the scattered places.  

     We are the sheep.  The shepherds are the leaders of the church or in Ezekiel's time of Israel.  Some of these leaders have let us down.  They have shown they are human.  They have been placed on too high of a pedestal when they shouldn't be on one anyway.  They've ignored the lost, the weak, and the sick.  They have left the sheep to wander among the wolves and other beasts that seek to devour.  BUT God is there calling His sheep to Himself.  He is bringing the sheep to Him.  

      The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.  I will be content.  I will not lack.   He makes me lie down in green pastures, safely guarded against the enemy. There is no reason to worry.  He is there keeping watch.   He leads me beside still waters.  Water that will refresh my weary self.  He restores my soul, my aching dry soul.  He fills it with the living water and brings healing and renewal.  The Lord is my Shepherd.   I need nothing or no one else.  He is the Good Shepherd.  I will dwell in His house forever.

"I am the Good Shepherd..."

John 10:11

Free!

"and you will know the truth, 

and the truth will set you free."

John 8:32

       As parents, we admonish our children to "tell the truth".  In a court of law,  people are sworn in to "tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth".  In the Bible, John relays Jesus's message of "if you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free."   What is truth?  How is truth defined?  The world says that truth is whatever you want to believe.  Webster's dictionary says it is the body of real things, events, and facts.  

       Jesus, as he stood in front of Pilate being questioned, was asked: "so you are a king?".  To which Jesus answered Pilate, "you say that I am a king.  For this purpose, I was born and for this purpose, I have come into the world--to bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth listens to my voice."  Pilate then asks Jesus, "what is truth?".  Jesus does not respond. Pilate found no guilt in Jesus.  (John 18: 37-38)   But yet Jesus was crucified anyway.  

       When we tell the truth about something we did which was wrong, we feel a freedom in our spirit.   If we tell a lie and think we have gotten away with it our spirit is heavy and weighed down with guilt.  When we tell the truth we know that we are set free.  When we lie then we are of the character of the enemy who is a liar and the father of lies.  The enemy does not stand in truth, but Jesus does and is the truth.  Lying is a sin and we are slaves to sin.   The only way out of that life of lies is to stand in the truth. Stand in the Word of God which is the truth.  Everything in the Bible is true.  The promises are true, the historical references are true, and the prophecies which have been fulfilled are also true.  We can stand firm knowing that God is true.  There are no "ifs or buts", there is only truth. 

In truth lies our freedom.  We are free from sin if we have the truth, ie, Jesus living in us.  Truth guides our way, truth illuminates the darkness, and truth is a pillar and fortress.  Our founders stood in this truth.  They knew the way to freedom was by declaring that which is true.   We need to stand for truth.  Some may not like the truth,  some may not believe the truth and others may not want the truth but the truth will always come out and the truth will always stand above all else.  We can have that freedom in our lives by declaring that the Word is truth and that the Word abides in us.  Because "... if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." (John 8:36)

"But now that you have been set free from sin..."

Romans 6:22

Praise the Lord!

"Praise the LORD!

For it is good to sing praises to our God;

for it is pleasant, and a song of praise is fitting...

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

Psalm 147: 1, 3

       When I was just out of high school, my friends and I started a worship band at church.  Now, this was over forty years ago.  Worship bands were not known especially in a Presbyterian church.  We played and sang songs from artists like The Imperials,  Andrus Blackwood and Company,  and Dallas Holm.  We were just some teenagers and early twenty-somethings singing for the Lord.  Many times we surprised the congregation we sang for on those Sundays.  We were sure they thought we were daft when we sang Oh Buddha.   But our hearts were pure and we sang from them.

        One song to this day touches my heart.  It is the song Praise the Lord by Ruff Taff.  This song touches my heart for many reasons.  First, because the dear friend who sang it had cystic fibrosis. One would think he couldn't sing but boy, he could.  He became the best man at our wedding a few years later.  He died a few years after that.   When I hear that song today, it reminds me of him singing.  Another reason is the lyrics remind us to praise the Lord no matter the circumstances.  When we are up against struggles and difficulties that shatter our dreams we are to praise to the Lord.  When our faith is feeling small we are to praise the Lord.  When we know Satan is wreaking havoc in our lives we are to praise the Lord.  Because when we sing out praises to our King, those chains that bind us fall from our wrists.  Those chains are powerless and fall useless to our feet when our praises reach the ears of the Lord.  

         King David had many reasons to praise the Lord.  His Psalms resonate with them. "Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord from the heavens, praise in the heights!  Praise him, all his angels; praise him, all his hosts! Praise him sun and moon",  and the praise goes on in all creation (Ps.148).   We should want nothing else but Jesus and to spend our days worshipping and praising Him.  We should give him our hearts and everything else will be provided to us.   

           When we praise God, we are listing his attributes.  He is gracious, kind, wise, powerful, merciful and faithful.  All of these help to remind us who He has been and will continue to be.  He is near to all of us if we just call on Him.  We can praise Him in all things with thanksgiving.  When we praise God we are giving credit where the credit is due.  He is our Lord and we should praise Him forever and ever. Praise the Lord!

"Praise the Lord!  Praise the Lord, oh my soul!

I will praise the Lord as long as I live:

I will sing praises to my God while I have my being."

Psalm 146: 1-2

Why Do I Fear?

"I have chosen you and not cast you off;

fear not, for I am with you;

be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:9b-10

      I awoke from my dream terrified.  I was breathing heavily, unable to calm down for several minutes.  I remember only snippets of the dream and none seemed to be terrifying.  I don't remember the cause of that which terrified me so but yet I was.  I got out of bed and went to get a drink.  I was still a little out of sorts but starting to calm down.  All the while I kept thinking about what was so terrifying.  Then the still small voice of God reminded me, "don't be afraid, you are safe, I am here."  I climbed back into my warm bed, snuggled up in the blankets and peacefully returned to sleep.  I knew the God was with me and I had no reason to fear. 

      Fear can cause us to freeze.  It can cause us to cry.  It can cause us to be wary.  With fear, we are afraid of heights, spiders or snakes.  We are afraid to try something new or go somewhere we've never been.  Fear can stop us in our tracks and keep us from moving forward.  But God tells us 365 times to "fear not".   He continues with the words;  I am your God.  I am here. I will help you.

       Fear is generated by the enemy.  He wants us to be off our game.  He wants us to be wary, afraid, and in dread.  The enemy does not want us to rely on God, he wants us to be anxious or in dismay.  When we are fearful, the enemy can prey upon our minds and make us start thinking we are unworthy, unloved, or incompetent. The enemy steals our joy, all the while laughing at us behind our backs that he has won.  

        But thankfully, the enemy does not win because we know the Father.  We know that "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." (1John 4:18) . That perfect love is Jesus.  He is the perfecter of our faith and His love for us casts our fear.  I know with all that is happening in the world there is fear.  We fear that the world as we know it will soon crumble around us. But we should look on that not with fear of what will happen but with fear, in awe, of God. He will bring back all the things we were supposed to have before the fall of man in the garden of Eden.  He will bring us joy, happiness, no pain, and no tears.  I should not fear.  I should not fear the world.  I should not fear my job loss.  I should not fear.  I. Will. Not. Fear.  

       "For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you.'" (Isaiah 41:13) .   He will be there holding our hand.  He says so, His promises are true.  All of His promises in the Bible are 100% true.  He has never gone back on them. He has always held firm to them.  2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that "for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.".  Just think He has given us a spirit of power.  Power over fear, anxiety, and worry.  Power over the enemy.  With the promises of the Bible, we can stand firm in our fearlessness.  If we keep our eyes focused on the King, we will be strengthened and will have no fear.  

"The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

Deuteronomy 31:8

Forgiveness

"He has delivered us from the domain of darkness

and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son,

in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."

Colossians 1:13-14

      As a parent, grandparent and teacher I have heard the words "I'm sorry!" a lot.   Hearing those little voices after being disciplined saying, 'I'm sorry" but not much feeling or sincerity shining through those words.  It becomes a habit to say them when you've made a mistake and ultimately been caught red handed.  We don't really mean it.  We really mean we are sorry we got caught.  I'm sorry for this and I'm sorry for that. Empty words that do not ring true.  We do this to God too.

      Until....something happens and the weight of the shame, the sorrow, the sin brings you to your knees.  Then we are pleading to our Father for forgiveness.  We are truly sorry.  When we fall on our knees in prayer acknowledging and confessing our sins to God, He hears us and forgives us. He takes away the guilt.  He remembers them no more.  Just as Colossians says,  "He delivers us from the domain of darkness",  we don't walk in that ugly dark place where our flesh wants to dwell.  We are washed whiter than snow when our sins are forgiven (Isaiah 1:18).

      When others have done something against us, it is more difficult to forgive.  We are not like God, we don't forget.  It isn't always easy to forgive someone, but it does bring peace to our own hearts when we do. But forgetting is never easy.  We dredge up the times when that person said this or that person did that and we keep rehashing all the events until our peace is gone.  We struggle to rid our minds of the reminders of the wrongdoing.   We may have forgiven but we have not forgotten.  This is where we need God's grace;  God's grace to not harbor bitterness or anger in our hearts. God's grace to erase those records of wrong and believe in the best of others.  This is only accomplished through prayer and relying upon God's words of forgiveness.  The Bible has many verses about forgiveness and forgiving.   God is quick to forgive us and we need to be the same to others and to ourselves. God is abundant in mercy and steadfast love to all of us that call upon His name. 

     Those little ones that come to me with their tales of woe, this person did that to me, I have told them they are not allowed to say, "I'm sorry",  they must ask the person who wronged them for forgiveness.  The wronged person would then have to say, "I forgive you".  I want them to know that there is more weight behind the words of forgiveness.  Forgiveness brings healing and peace first to yourself then to others.  Remember, we can forgive because He forgave us first. 

   "...forgive, and you will be forgiven."

Luke 6: 37

Strongholds

"The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed,

a stronghold in times of trouble."

Psalm 9:9

           Once, several years ago, a storm blew up quickly.  Looking out the window it was completely white.   The rain was coming down so hard and blowing sideways.   I yelled for the kids to grab the dogs and we huddled in the tiny half bathroom with two large dogs.   We didn't know what was going on outside or how long it would last. It was loud and we were scared.  We stayed in the tiny bathroom, our stronghold, in the lower center of our home for what seemed like forever.   When we emerged,  table and chairs on the patio were overturned, our grill was missing, and there were many branches in the yard.   The house was mostly unscathed save a few shingles that had blown off.  Our stronghold held tight.  

          We can rest in our stronghold of the Lord at all times.   According to Webster's dictionary,  stronghold  means a fortified place.  In Biblical times, a stronghold was a military fortress on the high ground.  It was there to block and keep out the invading armies.  That is what our stronghold in the Lord does for us.  Unfortunately, there are negative strongholds that the enemy tries to place in our minds to percolate toxic thoughts.  The lies that the enemy tells us;  I am unworthy, I am unloved, I am not good enough, I am unforgivable and the list goes on,  hold us captive in the strongholds of our mind.   It is not really all the enemy's fault that the strongholds are there.  He can not make us do the things we do but he will lead us to do those things that are contrary to God.  But we allow him to add those bricks each time we listen to him.

           It is our responsibility to dismantle those strongholds.  We can do that by "taking each thought captive to obey Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5)  We can only take those thoughts captive by using the power of the Lord and His Word and applying God's truth in our lives.   As we apply His truth, we dismantle those lies the enemy has built in the strongholds of our mind.   It means to replace the lies with the truth of God's Word EVERY TIME there is an opportunity.   When the enemy tries to place those lies in our minds we are to remember our salvation and resist the urge to agree with those lies, over and over again, until those strongholds begin to crumble and fall.  God's Word is sharper than any double edged sword and it is at our disposable to use when we need too. Build the stronghold of God's Word in your heart and mind then when the enemy attempts to invade, and he will, you are prepared and with God's help you can defeat him.  Keep the stronghold strong with the Word and He will protect those that run into it.

"O LORD, my strength and my stronghold,

my refuge in the day of trouble,

to you shall the nations come 

from the ends of the earth...."

Jeremiah 16:19

Be Thankful

"It is good to give thanks to the Lord,

to sing praises to your name, O Most High."

Psalm 92:1

       Typically November is the time that everyone espouses "Be Thankful",  but for us every day should be one of thankfulness.  Webster's dictionary has the definition of thank to mean to express gratitude and gratitude means the state of being grateful.  Finally, grateful means appreciative of benefits received.  So for us to be thankful or grateful we are to be appreciative of the benefits we have received.  The benefits of God are many and when we stop for but a moment we can see some of the those benefits in the creation around us.  The bright sunshine and colorful flowers blooming on a summer day.  The cool rain refreshing the earth.   If we dig deeper still, we see the benefits; our life, our families, and our health.  For each of these,  we are to be thankful every day.  

        1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."  There are two key words in that verse, the words "in" and "all".   Give thanks IN, not give thanks when, or give thanks for, or give thanks later.  It says to give thanks 'in',  our location or position.   We are to give thanks in the hard and sticky times, in the easy peasy lemon squeezy times,  ALL times. We are to give thanks in ALL circumstances, not just the circumstances that everything is going along hunky dory and living is easy.  We are to give thanks in the ugly crying times and the life is really not great times too.  

        Paul knew how to do this.  He had the life of privilege prior to his conversion but when he was changed in his soul by Christ, his life changed too.  His proclamations to the crowds about Jesus made him an unsavory person to the Jews, they thought he was stirring up trouble.  He was thrown in prison, not once but several times.  In each of those circumstances, Paul was thankful and joyful. This is how I need to be so I look at today with thankfulness.  I am thankful I have a family that loves me.  I am thankful for my friends who have shown kindness in a hard time.  I am thankful I have food to eat, a house to live in, and my faith in Jesus Christ.  Those are all I need.   I don't need those things that bring me down.  I don't need to have anything but those benefits which I have received from God and to show my appreciation for them.   When we change our attitude to one of thankfulness then life doesn't seem as hard.  When we change our attitude to one of thankfulness we are seeing the benefits God has provided for us.  "Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ." (Ephesians 5:20) .  Have an "attitude of gratitude" today and every day.

"And now we thank you, our God, and praise your glorious name."

1 Chronicles 29:13